COMMENTARY: The Ultimate Fight Why Mike Tyson could be the best thing to hit Scotland this side of the Act of Union Contributed by Andrew McDiarmid Copyright 2000 It would never even enter our minds that American boxer Mike Tyson could ever be behind a major chapter of Scotland's political life. The two are just not, shall we say, in the same ring. But a fight has broken out over a fight, and this could lead to a very big fight. Confused? Allow me to explain. Convicted rapist Mike Tyson and co. expressed their interest in staging a high-profile boxing match in Britain recently. Having already appeared in Manchester, England to a not-so-friendly welcome, Tyson thought he'd get a better reception in Scotland. Scotland control the "wee" matters of her country, but still can't run far without being choked by "mummy". The British Parliament at Westminster controls vital aspects of Scotland - foreign relations and trade, broadcasting, defense, budget matters, and immigration. "Mummy"s immigration powers over Scotland became painfully obvious to the Scottish people, when, without Scotland knowing, Home Secretary of the British Parliament Jack Straw has a secret meeting with Tyson's people and, obviously impressed with the money side of their proposal, allows Tyson a visa to enter Scotland. This goes directly against current British legislation that prohibits convicted criminals from other countries gaining entry to Britain. When the Scottish people finally got wind of Tyson being allowed in, there was uproar. Women's groups were angry at the message this sends to women, and indeed men, in Scotland - that somehow Scotland condones the crimes of rape and violence against women. Members of The Scottish Parliament were angry that they were not consulted over Jack Straw's secret meeting and visa O.K.-ing. They were even more angry that they could do nothing to prevent Tyson coming in. All of a sudden, this was not just about letting a convicted rapist boxer in to Scotland to fight. This was about a matter much more important to Scotland - the constitutionality of the current political setup in Britain. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a nation as "a territorial division containing a body of people of one or more nationalities and characterized by relatively large size and independent status". Using this definition and looking at Scotland's current status, one could argue that Scotland is not even a nation. If you were a territory of people, one good way to pass the "nation" test would be to ask yourself: "do I have control over who I let in from other countries?" If the answer is yes, congratulations! - you can join the United Nations. If the answer is no, as Scotland's answer is right now, you have problems. And that's what Scotland has right now - lots of problems. Other questions in the "nation" test could be, "Do I have a national passport for my people?"; "Can I broadcast a national nightly news?"; "Do I have enforced borders and checkpoints?"; "Am I in control over my own defense, and in deciding who my allies are and who they are not?" If you are Scotland, your answer is no to all these questions. So, what is the answer for Scotland? She is right now part of a United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Her major decisions are made in a foreign land (England). Scotland could withdraw from the U.K, but this would leave a great mess behind. Everything that was British (as in Scotland and England) would suddenly become just England, and poor Wales would be worse off than it is right now. History would get extremely confusing. To avoid this confusion, the entities known as Britain and the U.K should simply be abolished, leaving four independent nations (re-united Ireland, Wales, Scotland, and England) sharing alliances. A New Partnership for a New Millennium must be drawn up between the nations of Scotland and England. They must both operate as independent nations, with their own currencies, parliaments, prime ministers, defense systems, and foreign relations (much like the current relationship with the Republic of Ireland and Britain). In times of national security to each nation, A Common Defense Alliance (CDA) would assure that either nation would come to the other's aid. Friendly trading policies would be adopted, and regulated immigration could still be acheived between the two countries under new laws and regulations, of which would include enforced border checkpoints, separate embassies, and passports for each country. There are many implications to adopting this New Partnership for a New Millennium, but all implications could be ironed out. Mike Tyson's decision to want to fight in Scotland could be the best thing to hit Scotland this side of the cursed Act of Union with England. His fight in Scotland is causing a bigger fight - the ultimate fight - a fight for Scotland's right to be a nation. The Scottish people are sitting up and realizing just who has the power in Scotland, and it is not the elected politicians Scotland so eagerly put into office in 1999. Amidst the chaotic celebrations of the new Scottish Parliament being re-instated in Scotland, no-one saw just how weak it would be, and how much of a puppet government it really is. Westminster are allowing a convicted rapist into Scotland to fight a boxing match. And the hands of the Scottish Parliament, and indeed, the Scottish people, are tied. Mike Tyson just might be the reason that Scotland finally snap out of it, break the bonds, and free the hands of Scotland the nation once again. Contributed by Andrew McDiarmid Copyright 2000 The opinions expressed in this commentary are not necessarily those of the Gathering of the Clans.